Creature Feature Friday: The Squonk
If ever a creature was walloped by the ugly stick, it is the extraordinary Squonk. This unique cryptid out of lumberjack lore has rarely ever been sighted, and for good reason - it’s hideous. Have you ever heard of this monstrous little beast before? Check out a few (alleged) facts about the Squonk in today’s Creature Feature Friday!
Creature Feature Friday: The Squonk
If you’re ever feeling down about yourself, take a moment to remember you should be grateful you aren’t a Squonk. Not only does it have an absurd name but the Squonk may just be the ugliest creature on the planet - and he knows it.
An unsightly northern Pennsylvania legend, the Squonk is a four-legged cryptid with skin so ill-fitting and covered with warts, moles, and other dermatological conditions that it is ashamed of its own appearance. There are not enough Snapchat filters in the world to fix the Squonk.
To keep other creatures from seeing its hideousness, Squonks spend most of their time hiding in the PA hemlock forests and crying the ugliest of ugly cries. In fact, weeping is so much a part of the Squonk’s ugly genetic makeup that it is also its defense mechanism; in order to evade capture from hunters who attempt to catch the world’s ugliest cryptid, Squonks have the unique ability to completely dissolve into a puddle of tears and snot bubbles, never to be seen again… which is kind of their goal anyway.
According to the Squonk stories, a man named J.P. Wentling once succeeded in bagging a live Squonk, but upon carrying it home, he felt the bag get suddenly lighter. Wentling opened it to find only liquified Squonk left behind - not a pretty sight.
To learn about more logic-defying cryptids, check out the book Fearsome Creatures of the Lumberwoods and our blog 9 Cryptids That Are (Probably) Too Absurd To Be Real.
To hear a real-life modern-day encounter with the Squonk, check out Episode 569: The Poconos Squonk (members only)!
